You Know You’re a Parent When… {laughing at ourselves}

Since Emily was born there have been a few times Jeff and I couldn’t help but laugh at ourselves because the things that are now ‘acceptable’ to us never would have been pre-Emily. These are classic “you know you’re a parent…” moments.
For example, when Emily was just 9 days old and had been up all night I was going to a baby shower. Since I had a c-section I wasn’t supposed to drive yet so Jeff and Emily drove me. Instead of going home while I was at the shower, Emily was finally sleeping and quiet so Jeff drove with her to Costco to pick something up. She was still sleeping so he went in wearing sweats, his glasses (not his usual contacts) and the glazed over look of a new dad. She kept sleeping so they did laps around the store, browsing at each and every aisle. When he had enough of this, they got back in the car and drove around. Jeff loves to eat spitz in the car but didn’t want to open the window to spit them out, Emily would wake up. So he drove around, eating spitz in his sweats, spitting them into an empty formula bottle he had from feeding her. A very new dad image and nothing like his pre-Emily life!
Also early on in Emily’s days I was home alone with her and trying to get us out the door. I finally had us ready and realized I had puke on my shirt. Shoot. Instead of risking letting her sit and start screaming while I went to change, I grabbed the scarf I had nearby to cover the puke. It didn’t even really cover it, I had to wear the scarf crooked. Very mom.
Yesterday we were having a really busy but good day. Emily was sleeping at all the right times so I could get where I needed to go. It was going so smoothly that I decided to do one more thing. Mistake. We went to my school to drop something off. She woke up as we went in and let everyone know we were there by screaming as I walked through the hall. A lovely Friday afternoon distraction! Obviously I hurried out of there and got back to the car. We squealed away to get home so I could feed her, it’s just five minutes away. The car sounded a bit weird on the gravel but we’ve been having muffler trouble lately. We got to a corner and a woman started waving me down. I thought she was going to say my muffler was hanging down but she didn’t. “You’re dragging one of those pylon things” she says. Ha! They are in front of the school to block parking at the cross walk. With Emily screaming I didn’t even notice, nor hear us drive over it! I had dragged it about 3 blocks I pulled over to get it out but there was no way I could reach it without laying on the ground. I am in a skirt and Emily is still screaming. I got back in the car to back up and hopefully dislodge it. Nope. So I made a mom decision and dragged the pylon the rest of the way home. Luckily it was a short ride. Countless people tried to flag me down to warn me and looked quite confused when I waved back at them and smiled knowingly. The pylon only really dragged when I hit a bump ;). Jeff had to lay under he car and kick it out, it was jammed right in there and partly melted from rubbing on the road. Ha! Sorry BHS for the loss of your pylon! And sorry ladies for appearing to be one of those ‘classic woman drivers’. But I wasn’t, I was just a classic mom driver with a screaming baby.

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Filed under emily, the scarcellos

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